An essential piece of trauma literature, this “well-organized, valuable book” draws from somatic-based psychotherapy and neuroscience to offer “clear guidance” for coping with complex PTSD (Peter Levine, author of Waking the Tiger) Although it may seem that people suffer from an endless number of emotional problems and challenges, Laurence Heller and Aline LaPierre maintain that most of these can be traced to five biologically based organizing principles: the need for connection, attunement, trust, autonomy, and love-sexuality. They describe how early trauma impairs the capacity for connection to self and others and how the ensuing diminished aliveness is the hidden dimension that underlies most psychological and many physiological problems. Heller and LaPierre introduce the NeuroAffective Relational Model® (NARM), a method that integrates bottom-up and top-down approaches to regulate the nervous system and resolve distortions of identity such as low self-esteem, shame, and chronic self-judgment that are the outcome of developmental and relational trauma. While not ignoring a person’s past, NARM emphasizes working in the present moment to focus on clients’ strengths, resources, and resiliency in order to integrate the experience of connection that sustains our physiology, psychology, and capacity for relationship.
66 reviews for Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship
Rated 5 out of 5
Avid reader (verified owner)–
It explained my issues EXACTLY! I’ve never read a book that did that so well. I will read this book over and over again to absorb all of its content and healing information into my wounded parts. It already healed some of those parts just reading things that made me realize that things I thought made me “crazy” were just normal reactions of a child to having to adjust to a world that did not meet it’s most basic emotional connection and physical needs. I would highly recommend this book, especially to all the people who think they are “crazy” and don’t know why they act and react like they do.
Rated 5 out of 5
Carol A. Hoy (verified owner)–
Healing Developmental Trauma is a compelling view into the inter-connectedness of body and mind and how the healing of trauma can alter the course of a lifetime. It is a multi-dimensional work, brilliantly conceived and clearly written. The authors’ intention is truly compassionate, guiding the reader to real insight into how trauma is held, and also pointing out specific channels of access to a deep unfolding of one’s potentiality. It provides a way of entry into the network of inner dams, set in place by the survival instinct and held in place by fear, that stifle the flow of vital energies in the body/mind. It offers hope together with a pragmatic path toward the natural re-integration of basic instinctual forces in the service of one’s sense of flow and wholeness.
Rated 5 out of 5
Louisa Dent Pearce (verified owner)–
As a mental health professional as well a person with lived experience of trauma, I rate this book highly. It provides one of the clearest, most concise and useful explanations of developmental trauma I have encountered. It avoids the common tendency for such books to see mental distress through a prism of diagnoses and medical jargon. Instead, this book acknowledges that many people suffer from varying degrees of trauma; therefore, it does not pathologise the symptoms of distress. This is refreshing and helpful. It also offers many practical suggestions for overcoming the effects of trauma. I will use this information both personally and professionally.
Rated 5 out of 5
inlori Customer (verified owner)–
Such an easy read for such a complicated subject! I’ve experienced other ‘self-help’ or ‘methodology’ books that can be read in parcel, meaning that much of those may be oversimplified or overwritten for many readers. Not so with this book. It is neither oversimplified nor too ‘techie’. That being said, when I downloaded this book I proceeded to read it cover to cover – something new for me. It gives a clear understanding for how humans incorporate early experience in non-verbal ways, positively or negatively. From that point on, we as humans can find ourselves reacting to our environment and experiences in self-hurtful and sometimes harmful ways.Yes, this is important information to me in a very personal way, for early experiences of my own. I will be dipping back into the text as I move into and beyond my own experiences. Thankfully, it is written in the adult persective – for the adult (much of what I have found on this subject is not). Another positive with this book is that it gives a 3D approach to overcoming these issues. It’s not coming at the problem with a single focus but to the individual as a whole – biologically, physically, emotionally, cognitively and spiritually; and it treats each aspect with respect.But I see a value far beyond that. This book can be pivotal in understanding how we impact others in such a positive and/or negative way. Parents, teachers, grandparents and others helping to raise or support families can benefit from this information. I know it’s impossible to predict every possible outcome in our interactions with young people and teens, but knowledge such as this can help guide our behaviours and help us to develop a respect for the sensitive natures of our future… yes, I said future; these babies, toddlers and teens are our future – they deserve that hope, as do we.Thank you Laurence Heller and Aline LaPeirre for your work in this area – and for making it available!
Rated 5 out of 5
Insight1001 (verified owner)–
Briefly put, this is one of the most important and profound works in the whole trauma literature. The authors’ thesis holds that developmental trauma is very different than PTSD. Developmental trauma is radically far-reaching and colors the entire life of those affected by it. The athorrs outline five different adaptive survival styles used by infants to cope with trauma. The five styles are chronological in order. The first, connective survival style, is the earliest and most impactful. It takes place between birth and about a year. Where the child receives inadequate nurturing or abuse, this style becomes dominant. Other styles come in different times and have their own but less catastrophic impact. In the connection survival style the child adapts by disconnecting from his(or her) physical and emotional self. As a result, the child experiences great difficulty in relating to others and is often isolated without knowing how to address the problem. The other survival styles flow in later stages of infant development progression : attachment (difficulty knowing what we need and feeling that our needs deserve do not deserve to be met), trust (feeling that one cannot depend on anyone but themselves and feeling a need to be in control), autonomy (feeling burdened and pressured with difficulty setting limits and saying no directly), and love-sexuality (difficulty integrating heart and sexuality). The book focuses almost exclusively on the connective survival style. The two authors spend a great deal of time describing the conditions that cause this style and the difficulty that those who use it have with even recognizing it. They also spend several chapters outlining how to address the connective survival style therapeutically. In fact, those chapters are a superior description of how to operate therapeutically. Anyone in a helping profession could profit by reading them. Yours truly is one of the connective survival products. Reading the book felt like seeing myself for the first time and knowing why I was this way. The book well shows the disastrous consequences for a combination of abuse and neglect. I’m not sure what to do with all this yet but do something I will.
Rated 5 out of 5
Charles O. Bubar (verified owner)–
Of all the books on trauma and developmental trauma that I have read, this is clearly the best.
When I finished reading, I had a much deeper awareness of the challenge of healing developmental trauma and many insights about the most effective healing approaches to help others in recovering the lost possibilities for their lives.
Thanks to Laurence Heller, PhD and Aline LaPierre, PsyD for their years of research and treatment, and for the outstanding case studies contained in the book — which truly made it come alive.
It’s the best!
Rated 3 out of 5
Kat (verified owner)–
I agree with the authors’ conceptualization about the different ways developmental trauma can affect people, but I’m not really sure everyone fits neatly into one of their 5 subtypes. I think people who have been traumatized throughout childhood can end up developing elements of all the 5 types mentioned. I addition, I’m not really sure I buy into their treatment modality/ theory (NeuroAffective Relational Model), which includes therapeutic touch. I’d be VERY hesitant to touch, hold or hug patients that have experienced previous abuse (especially sexual abuse).
Rated 4 out of 5
Docendee (verified owner)–
This book gave me a lot of insight on the impact of early trauma (intentional or otherwise) on the developing brain. We all have shock of some sort or degree in our past — this book is very helpful in identifying the root of behaviors we might be able to modify, or at least understand, in ourselves. I bought copies for both my sister and my daughter so we could discuss family patterns.
Note that this book is not really a “self-help” book, in that it is academically oriented, and intended to inform actual therapists about new discoveries that might help them in their work. It isn’t so heavy, though, that the average reader can’t gain from it. I found it fascinating reading and chillingly accurate in identifying symptoms of childhood abuse that I had not considered as symptomatic before I found this book.
Rated 3 out of 5
RG0807 (verified owner)–
I decided to buy this book when while reading the sample the description of a certain personality type resonated with me. After reading it I have to say I’m a little bit disappointed. The book is chock-full of silly psychobabble jargon and a little bit of new-age jargon thrown in for good measure. The ideas in the book are not really new. It just seems like an attachment theory based therapy with some emphasis on explicity encouraging patients to pay attention to the feelings in their body as they are having them. This book contains a lot of filler and the explanations of the psychological phenomena that they sketch are not really elaborated.
Rated 5 out of 5
Anne J. Gibson (verified owner)–
I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD. It came as a terrible shock! I didn’t understand what that meant! This book helped me understand and be compassionate towards myself. It is an amazing read! Clearly written, compassionate and thorough. It brought into focus so much of what I had been living with but never imagined there was an understanding of, never mind a solution. I have a trauma therapist who is great but couldn’t possibly answer all the questions I had. I couldn’t articulate even what I was thinking or feeling. I took this book to her and she loved it. Now, our sessions are so much more informed and effective. Just having the WORDS to use have given me great relief, hope and acceptance. I re-read sections when I get confused and overwhelmed and this book gives me the awareness and permission to speak the unspeakable. What a god-sent! My “reality” now has a voice! Thank you!
Rated 5 out of 5
Sparrow (verified owner)–
As a student of Psychology since 2007 (working on my third Psychology-related degree), and a childhood trauma survivor, I have read extensively on trauma — finding pieces of the puzzle here and there — neuroscience, psychotherapeutic approaches, somatic psychology, and so on, but this method puts it all together in such a way that it is a RIVETING read!!! I practically highlighted the whole book and kept saying “Yes!, Yes!, Yes!” while reading.
If you are a survivor of trauma — this is a MUST HAVE — and there is ongoing training in this methodology in the Bay Area for clinicians (although Heller is now based in Denmark, unfortunately!!)
Rated 5 out of 5
Ali Crockett (verified owner)–
This book is great, a little dry at times, but the info is life changing. I stopped blaming myself after reading this and realized why I have been feeling and acting this way for a long time. It looks at the causes of your issues and not just treatment of symptoms like a lot of other techniques that I’ve read about do. Shortly after reading this I found a somatic experiencing therapist. While we’ve only had one session so far, I have a feeling this is going to be different than my last 5 therapists who couldn’t do much to help me. Thanks!
Rated 4 out of 5
francis glebas (verified owner)–
I really wanted to love this book. It’s got great information that I’ve never found anywhere else on how trauma affects self regulation. My problem is that I find the book incredibly hard to read. Sequences of word are repeated over and over. It feels distant, as if a robot wrote it. This makes it hard for me to believe that their therapy works.
They put down transference. Which means they take living being of the therapist out of the therapeutic relationship. Yet, they talk about the importance of human connection. That makes it sound as if their therapy is as cold as this book.
What I also find objectionable is how much time they take to describe and indirectly put down other therapeutic approaches. They also want their cake and eat it too. I get it, you guys are different. But, tell me what you do actually believe. Here’s an example of how abstract they can be, “Initially, it may not be possible for traumatized individuals to access their somatic awareness; in such cases any experience of self-reference can serve as a starting point.” What kind of experience of self-reference?
They say the past is not important, yet they say the past is where all this started. Which is it?
If you write a new edition with a heart, let me know.
Rated 5 out of 5
J Diaz (verified owner)–
This book is for everyone. Early childhood, especially if a troubled one, determines who we become in our lives. Traumatized people become people they aren’t really meant to be and are trapped in a vicious cycle that either hangs around forever (unless reconciled) or accumulates with all the other bad experiences everyone faces throughout their life.
This book explains why so many people are so dysfunctional, are eternally depressed, have no empathy or compassion (especially in relationships)… It also provides a guideline as to how to reconcile and get rid of that snowball that either follows you throughout your life and/or gets bigger and bigger till it eventually catches up to you when it is too late.
Rated 4 out of 5
M. A. Birsen (verified owner)–
I like the theory and the 5 survival styles makes sense and parallels Bowlby’s attachment theory and other developmental frameworks. The authors lay out an explanation for why people have the symptoms they do, and he definitely describes many trauma clients I’ve worked with. Coming from a mind-body theoretical orientation myself, I was looking for just this kind of approach, as too often talk therapy and CBT will only get you so far. I was somewhat disappointed that he seemed to emphasize the first style, “Connection style,” and seemed to give only slight attention to the others. Also, some of the terms and techniques were not explained clearly, terms that are unique to the NARM approach, so I was left with a good framework but not a lot in the way of how-to’s. for example, they talk about processing a client’s sustaining or breaking of “connection,” but I’m left guessing what this actually means. Please write a sequel and include more detailed explanations of approaches and terms, and elaborate more on the other survival styles.
Rated 5 out of 5
Janet Mackie (verified owner)–
The NARM “take” on trauma and recovery is well worth reading. It’s getting pretty obvious that Freud’s insistence on labels, disease and regression/transference grew out of his Paternalistic time, and Erickson’s ideas about stages while valuable describe but fail to explain…The new connections between neuro-science and effective therapy are important. The new NARM “constructs” backed by research seem to me to better fit most people’s actual situations and promise recovery from the effects of trauma built upon strengths in a way that older methods did not.
Rated 5 out of 5
Cheryl (verified owner)–
Since we encounter the defenses born from the developmental traumas of every person we enter into a relationship with, is this not a critical read for everyone? By understanding our own defenses, and by understanding the defenses of others, and where they all stem from, we add compassion to our lives. We no longer need to wonder why people act the way they do, nor why we act the way we do. We can replace the taking it personally and the wondering why with compassion born of understanding. And that is very very very healing. A small step for each one of us is a small step for mankind towards world peace.
Rated 5 out of 5
Annie Southern (verified owner)–
Really helpful book for those who find meditation or mindfulness practice brings up trauma memories or panic attacks. Early trauma disrupts physiological processes and this book looks at that and helps people with trauma find a way through it. I found it complemented Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families twelve step work in that it posits a range of traits similar to the 14 traits of the Laundry List. Quite clinical at times but still manageable for the ordinary reader looking for answers.
Rated 5 out of 5
Lucy Nelson (verified owner)–
I stumbled upon this book through a friend who is a therapist. When I heard the words “developmental trauma”, something rang true. I have been through about 7 years of therapy, feeling like no diagnosis or treatment modality has fit me best or helped me much. My current therapist practices somatic experiencing, which this book references often. As soon as I started this book I was amazed to see myself described, in detail, like never before. I finally felt like I’d found a manual on myself. Not only that, but a treatment plan! It took me a few weeks to finish the book, and I feel like in that time I’ve suddenly learned how to track my emotions and experience my nervous system reintegrating and settling down. My plan now is to read it again with a notebook at my side to take notes. This is a rather clinical text – it’s very detailed and involved, which is wonderfully thorough, but I know that I missed important points while trying to absorb something else. So I will read it again and again. I feel like I’ve found a manual that will give me my life, for the first time ever.
Rated 3 out of 5
M Larios (verified owner)–
The material presented was informational and seemed more aligned to therapists than to self-repairers, which had been stated at the onset. I found the ending with Paul’s example to be truncated to such a degree that I question whether it should have been presented as-is as opposed to a direct narrative with the core scope of achieving balance and deliverance from the connection survival style. Finally, Aline’s interactions with Emma were perceived by me to be more realistic, believable, sincere, and insightful. While either of Larry’s dialogues, with Client or Paul, I perceived as clinical, devoid of sincere connection, and simply instructional; with the intention of what could have been discussed in a therapist/client setting as opposed to an actual interaction between two people. If this was done by design, for instructional purposes, then disregard my blathering-on about Larry, after all… I read this book because I am struggling with family of origin trauma and not as a therapist. Joe
Rated 3 out of 5
Randy K. (verified owner)–
A little too much on the scientific side for my tastes.
Rated 5 out of 5
Bradley R. Maybury (verified owner)–
I got this book a week ago and have now thoroughly gone through it twice, highlighting and taking notes, as well as doing the exercises. Having practiced somatic meditation and mindfulness for a year and a half and experiencing expansion and greater aliveness through these practices, I knew that these tools were very helpful to me. What I didn’t know and what this book made very clear was why these practices were so helpful. This book is a map of the terrain of my psyche and the directions on how to traverse that terrain and go from a place of emotional numbness and subdued aliveness to greater emotional intelligence, feelings of connection to self and others, and an increasing sense of aliveness. Granted not all of this has happened in the week since a got the book, but over the year and a half of practicing daily. That said the book has made the cause and now the course very clear and I’ve experienced big leaps forward in the areas mentioned, and of course all life areas as these are directly impacted. The book also added many insights, practices, and the motivation that goes along with these. It’s very well written, easy to understand, and most importantly to apply. This really works! If you or someone you’re close to, or clients you work with suffer from developmental trauma, and you want understanding and effectiveness in healing, get this book now! Many thanks to Laurence Heller and Aline LaPierre
Rated 5 out of 5
dustbunny (verified owner)–
The is by far the best book I have read on this subject, and it has been hugely helpful both for myself and for my work with coaching clients.
Heller and LaPierre unpack each ‘survival style,’ and then drill down into one in particular. The examples from their own sessions are extremely useful to show the impact of this therapeutic approach.
It’s not a fluffy self-help how-to book, as it is written for therapists. But anyone can use this to enhance their understanding of the impact of childhood neglect, emotional or physical abuse, and trauma.
If this topic interests you for any reason, I cannot overstate how much I recommend this book!
Rated 5 out of 5
Marcia L. Howland (verified owner)–
Having done my Ph.D. thesis on attachment theory (Bowlby – present) often it is the emotion that is currently devilitating someone–very early trauma with young children does not offer the verbal and cognitive aspect of remembering. So, it is important to help every facet of a person to utilize all strengths, including spirituality. Helpful to parents to guard themselves from traumatizing their children, helpful for traumatized to see where it is perhaps sourced, helps therapists to stimulate healthfulness.
Rated 3 out of 5
Lizard (verified owner)–
Not what I thought it was.
Rated 5 out of 5
Brenda L. Rivera (verified owner)–
The best book about trauma I have ever encounter. If you have read tons of books, have done lots of work on yourself, have tried different healing modalities and have seen a few different therapist and yet, years after still know that there is something that doesn’t quite fit because certain emotions just keep coming up, then this is your book!!!!!! This book is so packed with information I feel like I graduated from a psychology class. You will find yourself and understand so much more about yourself , your past , your trauma , the ” why ” this and that . I can not recommend enough. I first borrowed the audiobook and then I had to buy the actual physical one. It’s your life and you deserve to heal . Much love and blessings in your path to integration.
Rated 5 out of 5
P (verified owner)–
Fantastic resource for clinicians to gain a deeper understanding of complex relational trauma and how to treat it. Only part that didn’t sit well with me was the chapter about using touch, as the majority of clinicians are not trained to utilize touch in treatment and I feel this subject should have been covered separately in another book. I kept worrying that an untrained practitioner might read this book and try to utilize it, which could be extremely triggering for a victim of trauma. Other than that, this is an exceptional book on this subject.
Rated 4 out of 5
Thomas M. Britz (verified owner)–
This book is written for professional therapists. It is one long commercial for a certain type of treatment, called “NARM”, NeuroAffective Relational Model. It was a long and involved read and I needed to look up a few words. It didn’t really help me understand Complex PTSD anymore than I had.
Rated 5 out of 5
L. Peters (verified owner)–
As a graduate student, this book has been fundamental in blowing the doors off of my own developmental trauma and understanding it in others. Taken in context with other therapies, theories, and how trauma has historically been approached, this book takes on even greater meaning.
I can understand some reviewers’ frustrations however, because while it’s a concise overview, it won’t answer all of your questions. (i.e. Can you have more than one survival style? Yes!) As a student, I have the luxury of dissecting the readings in class. It’s very helpful.
If you are a graduate student working towards licensing in therapy, social work, etc., or if you have a firm grasp of basic psychology and healing, you will find this a fairly easy and fascinating read. I wouldn’t call it a “self-help” book, but it is certainly enlightening.
As to the claims that it’s not scientific, perhaps that is because there’s not a citation in the book. While this is usually an issue for me, in this case, these theories are their own, based on their own work, and built upon accepted and known psychological foundations. If you need citations for basics like attachment theory, brain functions and the like, perhaps this is not the book for you.
Other books I would recommend to help complete the picture would be Frank and La Barre’s The First Year and the Rest of Your Life and Young, Klosko, and Weishaar’s Schema Therapy.
Rated 5 out of 5
TheHappyGentleman (verified owner)–
This is one of the clearest and most comprehensive books on the issue of trauma and its impacts that I have come across. I have read dozens and rate this above them all.
The book remains focused on the issue of trauma and its concrete impacts. Rather than getting dogmatic or attempting to discredit, the authors take an integrative and wholistic approach that rewards the reader with a very sensible, full picture of trauma and how it works on both the biology and the spirit/mind/emotions/psyche. While intended for therapists most likely, it is of obvious interest to anyone suffering from early trauma who wishes to have control over their treatment and recovery.
Rated 5 out of 5
inlori Customer (verified owner)–
A very worthwhile book that has something valuable to offer the field of developmental trauma. The many tables in the beginning of the book were a helpful summary. The last sections with dialogue of actual therapeutic interventions helped it come to life. It is however quite dense, and at times the language is a bit impenetrable with too much jargon. That made it a slower read. Nevertheless, it is well worth the effort.
Rated 5 out of 5
James Farrelly (verified owner)–
This book was assigned reading for a class. I began reading because I had to and very quickly became immersed. It lays out clearly and concisely the problems that may arise from childhood trauma and the hangover effect that can result when an adult retains their childhood coping skills to survive the trauma. The resultant physical turmoil created by the retention of these coping skills is very real and incredibly fascinating. The examples used in the book are short, interesting and provide a memorable teaching point for the student. I cannot thank the authors enough for this valuable book.
Rated 3 out of 5
inlori Customer (verified owner)–
Definitely directed at therapeutic professionals rather than their clients, it’s a difficult read for someone without a specialized psychology education. Contained some interesting concepts, though nothing that isn’t covered elsewhere in more accessible material.
Rated 5 out of 5
Austin (verified owner)–
Seldom do I write reviews, but I’m only 16 pages in and I’m already blown away by how well this is written. The detail and analysis of what can disrupt one’s ability to regulate emotional stability and form attachments is outstanding. I myself suffer from some very bad attachment problems, as well as emotional trauma from childhood. I would highly recommend this to anyone suffering from attachment issues. I’m also a psychology major and would recommend this to anyone in the clinical field looking to gain some possible further insight into the development of human connection and attachment.
Rated 4 out of 5
Isaac Hylton (verified owner)–
This is a very thorough treatise. It’s geared a bit more toward therapists, so it’s a bit light on techniques for clients without a therapist.
Rated 4 out of 5
jw (verified owner)–
I ordered this as a self-help book. All I can say is it is really effective. I couldn’t finish it though, because it kept making me cry too much.
Rated 5 out of 5
W. Custance (verified owner)–
Not through it, but can see good points already. I am trying to honestly see myself in their Descriptions. And I do. I sadly know what kind of punishment I received as a very young Toddler. I have heard about over and over from a parent, even till into my ’60’s. As if it was funny. Each time, I would freeze. Now I see why.
Rated 5 out of 5
inlori Customer (verified owner)–
One of the best books I’ve read to help me move forward on my life path! It’s a harder read then ‘Waking the Tiger’ by Peter Levine but a good follow up, and takes a step further by explaining in detail the differences between shock and developmental traumas, and the different ways we adapt to survive. It’s written for therapists so definitely a more difficult read for the average person, but worth the effort. After reading this book I found myself letting go of blaming myself for my own personality ‘flaws’ (called adaptive styles) and of the feeling of not being enough. I have become more knowledgeable and accepting of the therapy process. I also found this book exceptionally helpful as a parent. I find I am now accepting the role I unwittingly played in my children’s development, without blame. And I hope to better understand and relate to them as adults. Heller & LaPierre provide a few suggestions at the end of the book to therapists on how to best work with their clients. These could be beneficial to the layman looking for a therapist. There is no self-help or how-to advice, other then through better understanding and to have patience with the therapy process.
Rated 5 out of 5
Kathleen (verified owner)–
One of the most important topics of our world, that can explain most of the violence, narcissism, addiction and bullying, in my mind… it is a clinical work that translates for a nonclinical reader interested in how almost all of us are injured from childhood and how we can integrate and resolve these injuries so we don’t continue to injure others in our adult life. It acknowledges that our bodies, not just our minds are part of the process of healing and processing. It focuses on attachment issues with children and their parents, and the different stages of childhood that trauma affects, and how a clinician can work with a client, and how a client has been affected by the trauma in that childhood stage.
Rated 3 out of 5
Sae (verified owner)–
The beginning of this book was informative. It discussed connection, attunement, trust etc styles/categories that attachment trauma falls into. I had to skip around mid way through and the end. very boring not as practical. Even as a therapist I found it a little confusing. It discussed the use of touch which is ‘touchy’ in the field of therapy. I would have liked some alternative methods to use outside of the therapist directly touching a client. But overall informative just not as practical.
Rated 3 out of 5
Lisa H (verified owner)–
It is more of a text book for professionals and not someone in recovery.
Rated 5 out of 5
Anne (verified owner)–
This is the definitive work on how to heal childhood trauma and attachment wounds using the accuracy that neuroscience affords us. It is easily readable by both patients and practitioners. It is a must read for psychotherapists, medical doctors, naturopaths and social workers. Anyone trying to understand and repair their own childhood wounds will benefit from reading this book. I especially love the non-pathologizing focus on the resilience and strength survivors of family trauma bring to their lives.
Rated 5 out of 5
Kathleen (verified owner)–
This book is cutting edge material regarding post traumatic stress disorder. PTSD is a condition that has been belatedly recognized as a medical condition. Therefore funding for research is available and much attention is beiby given. This gave me some much hope for my own daughter who is a victim of incest by her father. It was stopped before she was 4 years old but our case never left family court after a 6-year battle. This was 25 years ago. She is doing well in life, but she suffers. I wish this book had been available to her therapist back then! One more way Audible has literally saved my life!
Rated 5 out of 5
Shenx (verified owner)–
Essential reading for how early life experiences cause nervous system dysregulation in adults. Very clear, organized. Much more linear and systematic than other Somatic Experiencing books I’ve read. Heller also does a great job at bringing in the context of other schools of thought: attachment theory, interpersonal neuroscience, Buddhist psychology/mindfulness, etc.
Rated 4 out of 5
R. Ricsin (verified owner)–
Interesting concepts and ideas but it got a little too drawn out about specific stories. That’s just my taste of books though.
Rated 5 out of 5
inlori Customer (verified owner)–
As a survivor of developmental trauma related to adoption, I have embraced psychotherapy for healing since adolescence. I’ve been blessed for many years by a psychotherapist who is competent, compassionate and masterful in attunement and attachment. What I didn’t know, and this book clarifies, is the sequence of strategies that heal trauma survivors later in life. As I read, I realized my therapist has consistently applied the same principles, strategies and techniques in our genuine, authentic therapeutic relationship. I found myself noting, “yes, we’ve worked on that!” and “so that’s how I learned how to self-soothe!” While the reality of suffering trauma in childhood and adolescence is never vanquished, this text provides a virtual checklist of what needs healing and how to do it without re-traumatizing the client. Thanks!
Rated 5 out of 5
Jwaddell (verified owner)–
There’s really no better way to describe this book than to say that reading it was like cleaning out a deep wound from my soul. It hurt, a lot, but the understanding to self that I gained was transformational and nothing short of a miracle! This book helped me heal to the point that social interaction became more and more comfortable as I brought my new awareness to myself in relation to others.
Rated 5 out of 5
CJ (verified owner)–
Th his is an amazing book that will help you understand and begin healing from developmental truama. I can honestly say reading this book has been life changing .it has helped me to understand exactly what I didn’t get as a child and how that effected my adulthood. It s truly life changing.
Rated 4 out of 5
Jamie (verified owner)–
Easy to follow book with charts and graphs
Rated 5 out of 5
Jessica Van der Merwe (verified owner)–
Healing Developmental Trauma is an excellent resource when conceptualizing how developmental (complex PTSD) impacts an individual through examining and integrating empirical research in support of the Neuroaffective Relational model for healing. The authors outline core needs and differing survival styles according to etiology of abuse and/or trauma, and offer practical interventions for healing. Easy to read, practical, and accessible.
Rated 4 out of 5
In Houston (verified owner)–
Good book
Rated 5 out of 5
Ray Thomsom (verified owner)–
This book simply and very clearly explains every thing you want to know about trauma and how it impacts your life. Its the very best I’ve seen and I strongly recommend it if you want to learn about this field. If you want to reverse trauma and recapture your life then also buy “Healing Trauma” by Peter Lavine
Rated 5 out of 5
Chanda (verified owner)–
This is a book that is very informative and easy to read and understand. The information presented is valuable to any and all therapist.
Rated 5 out of 5
Josephine March (verified owner)–
Until my therapist recommended this book, I had no knowledge of developmental trauma. Prior to reading this book, I thought all traumas were shock-based. The authors carefully and thoroughly explain the differences between these two types of traumas.
I will be reading it again as there is such a dense concentration of helpful and healing tools/ resources presented over the course of these pages. At times, it was not easy to read, but the authors conveyed their message of hope and healing in a gentle, non-judgmental, helpful manner. I learned a lot from this book. Worth every penny.
Rated 4 out of 5
Queen (verified owner)–
This was excellent. I did not think I would benefit from reading it as much as I did. Pleasantly surprised, insightful. Recommend.
Rated 5 out of 5
Poeticpatricia (verified owner)–
I love this book. It is written both for clinicians and as a self help. I highly recommend it. The introduction is a bit challenging to get through but the rest of the book is a pretty fast read.
Rated 5 out of 5
alexa hackett (verified owner)–
I use this in my practice weekly. It perfectly explains what developmental trauma is and how it affects people over the course of their lives. Anyone who works with clients who have experienced childhood trauma needs this book. Very accessible for the average person too.
Rated 5 out of 5
Liz Linder (verified owner)–
This book gives great insight into the healing process to those struggling with CPTSD. As I worked through the chapters I gained an in-depth understanding of my confusing and painful childhood experience and enhanced my education around attachment injury and it s lifelong consequences.
Rated 5 out of 5
Patricia a (verified owner)–
The author does a great job at simplifying such a complex topic. The book is of course not simple but not as dense as others in the field. Highly recommended.
Rated 5 out of 5
Julie Mills (verified owner)–
I’m not being dramatic, just factual. I’m one of the developmentally traumatized adults who lives a lonely, lifeless life. I’ve been to MANY therapists who’ve taken great pride in themselves with their diagnosis that I’m co-dependent. One told me to get a cat for my loneliness. Another told me that adult coloring is a creative outlet. Another told me to Let Go and Let God! Which all left me alone again. On my own again. And reinforced that there is no one to help me. And then came NARM!!! This book is both fascinating and well-written for BOTH therapists and lay-people. Thank you with all my heart!
Rated 3 out of 5
ABenn (verified owner)–
This book is geared more toward psyche majors rather than for someone looking for strategies to navigate their own healing from childhood trauma. It is extremely interesting, but if you have already been to therapy to work on your issues, you already know all the causes for why you are the way you are and this book just confirms those reasons. The are maybe 3 activities in the book that might be helpful, but nothing that you can really apply long term. I would suggest reading books on setting healthy boundaries instead.
Rated 5 out of 5
inlori Customer (verified owner)–
This is for anyone serious about understanding trauma and the body, trauma and relationships, trauma and healing …
Rated 5 out of 5
CJ Scarlet (verified owner)–
I’ve lost count of the self help books I’ve read, but this one tops them all. I saw myself in the pages and felt so seen and understood. I’m buying copies for others in my life who need this wisdom.
Rated 5 out of 5
Nancy Cobb (verified owner)–
It was a very helpful book and had a lot of good information in it
Rated 5 out of 5
G. Blakey (verified owner)–
I finally found a book that clearly addresses the right approach to work with people who have been negatively affected by Developmental Trauma, rather than shock trauma. It is written with a focus of helping therapists learn about this new approach, but in a way that those who have experienced this form of trauma can learn about how the adverse experiences in childhood lead to psychological problems in later life, and how there is an approach that can help them with their problems. There are a couple of examples of how a session with a NARM (NeuroAffective Relational Model) therapist works with a patient, so one can understand the significantly different approach this new therapeutic technique works. It is wonderful to read this, and feel so appreciative that someone has figured out how developmental traumas need to be addressed in a different way from the way violent or sexual traumas need to be treated.
Rated 5 out of 5
inlori Customer (verified owner)–
This book was a difficult, but necessary read for those attempting to heal from multiple childhood traumas. I highly recommend.
Avid reader (verified owner) –
It explained my issues EXACTLY! I’ve never read a book that did that so well. I will read this book over and over again to absorb all of its content and healing information into my wounded parts. It already healed some of those parts just reading things that made me realize that things I thought made me “crazy” were just normal reactions of a child to having to adjust to a world that did not meet it’s most basic emotional connection and physical needs. I would highly recommend this book, especially to all the people who think they are “crazy” and don’t know why they act and react like they do.
Carol A. Hoy (verified owner) –
Healing Developmental Trauma is a compelling view into the inter-connectedness of body and mind and how the healing of trauma can alter the course of a lifetime. It is a multi-dimensional work, brilliantly conceived and clearly written. The authors’ intention is truly compassionate, guiding the reader to real insight into how trauma is held, and also pointing out specific channels of access to a deep unfolding of one’s potentiality. It provides a way of entry into the network of inner dams, set in place by the survival instinct and held in place by fear, that stifle the flow of vital energies in the body/mind. It offers hope together with a pragmatic path toward the natural re-integration of basic instinctual forces in the service of one’s sense of flow and wholeness.
Louisa Dent Pearce (verified owner) –
As a mental health professional as well a person with lived experience of trauma, I rate this book highly. It provides one of the clearest, most concise and useful explanations of developmental trauma I have encountered. It avoids the common tendency for such books to see mental distress through a prism of diagnoses and medical jargon. Instead, this book acknowledges that many people suffer from varying degrees of trauma; therefore, it does not pathologise the symptoms of distress. This is refreshing and helpful. It also offers many practical suggestions for overcoming the effects of trauma. I will use this information both personally and professionally.
inlori Customer (verified owner) –
Such an easy read for such a complicated subject! I’ve experienced other ‘self-help’ or ‘methodology’ books that can be read in parcel, meaning that much of those may be oversimplified or overwritten for many readers. Not so with this book. It is neither oversimplified nor too ‘techie’. That being said, when I downloaded this book I proceeded to read it cover to cover – something new for me. It gives a clear understanding for how humans incorporate early experience in non-verbal ways, positively or negatively. From that point on, we as humans can find ourselves reacting to our environment and experiences in self-hurtful and sometimes harmful ways.Yes, this is important information to me in a very personal way, for early experiences of my own. I will be dipping back into the text as I move into and beyond my own experiences. Thankfully, it is written in the adult persective – for the adult (much of what I have found on this subject is not). Another positive with this book is that it gives a 3D approach to overcoming these issues. It’s not coming at the problem with a single focus but to the individual as a whole – biologically, physically, emotionally, cognitively and spiritually; and it treats each aspect with respect.But I see a value far beyond that. This book can be pivotal in understanding how we impact others in such a positive and/or negative way. Parents, teachers, grandparents and others helping to raise or support families can benefit from this information. I know it’s impossible to predict every possible outcome in our interactions with young people and teens, but knowledge such as this can help guide our behaviours and help us to develop a respect for the sensitive natures of our future… yes, I said future; these babies, toddlers and teens are our future – they deserve that hope, as do we.Thank you Laurence Heller and Aline LaPeirre for your work in this area – and for making it available!
Insight1001 (verified owner) –
Briefly put, this is one of the most important and profound works in the whole trauma literature. The authors’ thesis holds that developmental trauma is very different than PTSD. Developmental trauma is radically far-reaching and colors the entire life of those affected by it. The athorrs outline five different adaptive survival styles used by infants to cope with trauma. The five styles are chronological in order. The first, connective survival style, is the earliest and most impactful. It takes place between birth and about a year. Where the child receives inadequate nurturing or abuse, this style becomes dominant. Other styles come in different times and have their own but less catastrophic impact. In the connection survival style the child adapts by disconnecting from his(or her) physical and emotional self. As a result, the child experiences great difficulty in relating to others and is often isolated without knowing how to address the problem.
The other survival styles flow in later stages of infant development progression : attachment (difficulty knowing what we need and feeling that our needs deserve do not deserve to be met), trust (feeling that one cannot depend on anyone but themselves and feeling a need to be in control), autonomy (feeling burdened and pressured with difficulty setting limits and saying no directly), and love-sexuality (difficulty integrating heart and sexuality).
The book focuses almost exclusively on the connective survival style. The two authors spend a great deal of time describing the conditions that cause this style and the difficulty that those who use it have with even recognizing it. They also spend several chapters outlining how to address the connective survival style therapeutically. In fact, those chapters are a superior description of how to operate therapeutically. Anyone in a helping profession could profit by reading them.
Yours truly is one of the connective survival products. Reading the book felt like seeing myself for the first time and knowing why I was this way. The book well shows the disastrous consequences for a combination of abuse and neglect. I’m not sure what to do with all this yet but do something I will.
Charles O. Bubar (verified owner) –
Of all the books on trauma and developmental trauma that I have read, this is clearly the best.
When I finished reading, I had a much deeper awareness of the challenge of healing developmental trauma and many insights about the most effective healing approaches to help others in recovering the lost possibilities for their lives.
Thanks to Laurence Heller, PhD and Aline LaPierre, PsyD for their years of research and treatment, and for the outstanding case studies contained in the book — which truly made it come alive.
It’s the best!
Kat (verified owner) –
I agree with the authors’ conceptualization about the different ways developmental trauma can affect people, but I’m not really sure everyone fits neatly into one of their 5 subtypes. I think people who have been traumatized throughout childhood can end up developing elements of all the 5 types mentioned. I addition, I’m not really sure I buy into their treatment modality/ theory (NeuroAffective Relational Model), which includes therapeutic touch. I’d be VERY hesitant to touch, hold or hug patients that have experienced previous abuse (especially sexual abuse).
Docendee (verified owner) –
This book gave me a lot of insight on the impact of early trauma (intentional or otherwise) on the developing brain. We all have shock of some sort or degree in our past — this book is very helpful in identifying the root of behaviors we might be able to modify, or at least understand, in ourselves. I bought copies for both my sister and my daughter so we could discuss family patterns.
Note that this book is not really a “self-help” book, in that it is academically oriented, and intended to inform actual therapists about new discoveries that might help them in their work. It isn’t so heavy, though, that the average reader can’t gain from it. I found it fascinating reading and chillingly accurate in identifying symptoms of childhood abuse that I had not considered as symptomatic before I found this book.
RG0807 (verified owner) –
I decided to buy this book when while reading the sample the description of a certain personality type resonated with me. After reading it I have to say I’m a little bit disappointed. The book is chock-full of silly psychobabble jargon and a little bit of new-age jargon thrown in for good measure. The ideas in the book are not really new. It just seems like an attachment theory based therapy with some emphasis on explicity encouraging patients to pay attention to the feelings in their body as they are having them. This book contains a lot of filler and the explanations of the psychological phenomena that they sketch are not really elaborated.
Anne J. Gibson (verified owner) –
I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD. It came as a terrible shock! I didn’t understand what that meant! This book helped me understand and be compassionate towards myself. It is an amazing read! Clearly written, compassionate and thorough. It brought into focus so much of what I had been living with but never imagined there was an understanding of, never mind a solution. I have a trauma therapist who is great but couldn’t possibly answer all the questions I had. I couldn’t articulate even what I was thinking or feeling. I took this book to her and she loved it. Now, our sessions are so much more informed and effective. Just having the WORDS to use have given me great relief, hope and acceptance. I re-read sections when I get confused and overwhelmed and this book gives me the awareness and permission to speak the unspeakable. What a god-sent! My “reality” now has a voice! Thank you!
Sparrow (verified owner) –
As a student of Psychology since 2007 (working on my third Psychology-related degree), and a childhood trauma survivor, I have read extensively on trauma — finding pieces of the puzzle here and there — neuroscience, psychotherapeutic approaches, somatic psychology, and so on, but this method puts it all together in such a way that it is a RIVETING read!!! I practically highlighted the whole book and kept saying “Yes!, Yes!, Yes!” while reading.
If you are a survivor of trauma — this is a MUST HAVE — and there is ongoing training in this methodology in the Bay Area for clinicians (although Heller is now based in Denmark, unfortunately!!)
Ali Crockett (verified owner) –
This book is great, a little dry at times, but the info is life changing. I stopped blaming myself after reading this and realized why I have been feeling and acting this way for a long time. It looks at the causes of your issues and not just treatment of symptoms like a lot of other techniques that I’ve read about do. Shortly after reading this I found a somatic experiencing therapist. While we’ve only had one session so far, I have a feeling this is going to be different than my last 5 therapists who couldn’t do much to help me. Thanks!
francis glebas (verified owner) –
I really wanted to love this book. It’s got great information that I’ve never found anywhere else on how trauma affects self regulation. My problem is that I find the book incredibly hard to read. Sequences of word are repeated over and over. It feels distant, as if a robot wrote it. This makes it hard for me to believe that their therapy works.
They put down transference. Which means they take living being of the therapist out of the therapeutic relationship. Yet, they talk about the importance of human connection. That makes it sound as if their therapy is as cold as this book.
What I also find objectionable is how much time they take to describe and indirectly put down other therapeutic approaches. They also want their cake and eat it too. I get it, you guys are different. But, tell me what you do actually believe. Here’s an example of how abstract they can be, “Initially, it may not be possible for traumatized individuals to access their somatic awareness; in such cases any experience of self-reference can serve as a starting point.” What kind of experience of self-reference?
They say the past is not important, yet they say the past is where all this started. Which is it?
If you write a new edition with a heart, let me know.
J Diaz (verified owner) –
This book is for everyone. Early childhood, especially if a troubled one, determines who we become in our lives. Traumatized people become people they aren’t really meant to be and are trapped in a vicious cycle that either hangs around forever (unless reconciled) or accumulates with all the other bad experiences everyone faces throughout their life.
This book explains why so many people are so dysfunctional, are eternally depressed, have no empathy or compassion (especially in relationships)… It also provides a guideline as to how to reconcile and get rid of that snowball that either follows you throughout your life and/or gets bigger and bigger till it eventually catches up to you when it is too late.
M. A. Birsen (verified owner) –
I like the theory and the 5 survival styles makes sense and parallels Bowlby’s attachment theory and other developmental frameworks. The authors lay out an explanation for why people have the symptoms they do, and he definitely describes many trauma clients I’ve worked with. Coming from a mind-body theoretical orientation myself, I was looking for just this kind of approach, as too often talk therapy and CBT will only get you so far. I was somewhat disappointed that he seemed to emphasize the first style, “Connection style,” and seemed to give only slight attention to the others. Also, some of the terms and techniques were not explained clearly, terms that are unique to the NARM approach, so I was left with a good framework but not a lot in the way of how-to’s. for example, they talk about processing a client’s sustaining or breaking of “connection,” but I’m left guessing what this actually means. Please write a sequel and include more detailed explanations of approaches and terms, and elaborate more on the other survival styles.
Janet Mackie (verified owner) –
The NARM “take” on trauma and recovery is well worth reading. It’s getting pretty obvious that Freud’s insistence on labels, disease and regression/transference grew out of his Paternalistic time, and Erickson’s ideas about stages while valuable describe but fail to explain…The new connections between neuro-science and effective therapy are important. The new NARM “constructs” backed by research seem to me to better fit most people’s actual situations and promise recovery from the effects of trauma built upon strengths in a way that older methods did not.
Cheryl (verified owner) –
Since we encounter the defenses born from the developmental traumas of every person we enter into a relationship with, is this not a critical read for everyone? By understanding our own defenses, and by understanding the defenses of others, and where they all stem from, we add compassion to our lives. We no longer need to wonder why people act the way they do, nor why we act the way we do. We can replace the taking it personally and the wondering why with compassion born of understanding. And that is very very very healing. A small step for each one of us is a small step for mankind towards world peace.
Annie Southern (verified owner) –
Really helpful book for those who find meditation or mindfulness practice brings up trauma memories or panic attacks. Early trauma disrupts physiological processes and this book looks at that and helps people with trauma find a way through it. I found it complemented Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families twelve step work in that it posits a range of traits similar to the 14 traits of the Laundry List. Quite clinical at times but still manageable for the ordinary reader looking for answers.
Lucy Nelson (verified owner) –
I stumbled upon this book through a friend who is a therapist. When I heard the words “developmental trauma”, something rang true. I have been through about 7 years of therapy, feeling like no diagnosis or treatment modality has fit me best or helped me much. My current therapist practices somatic experiencing, which this book references often. As soon as I started this book I was amazed to see myself described, in detail, like never before. I finally felt like I’d found a manual on myself. Not only that, but a treatment plan! It took me a few weeks to finish the book, and I feel like in that time I’ve suddenly learned how to track my emotions and experience my nervous system reintegrating and settling down. My plan now is to read it again with a notebook at my side to take notes. This is a rather clinical text – it’s very detailed and involved, which is wonderfully thorough, but I know that I missed important points while trying to absorb something else. So I will read it again and again. I feel like I’ve found a manual that will give me my life, for the first time ever.
M Larios (verified owner) –
The material presented was informational and seemed more aligned to therapists than to self-repairers, which had been stated at the onset. I found the ending with Paul’s example to be truncated to such a degree that I question whether it should have been presented as-is as opposed to a direct narrative with the core scope of achieving balance and deliverance from the connection survival style. Finally, Aline’s interactions with Emma were perceived by me to be more realistic, believable, sincere, and insightful. While either of Larry’s dialogues, with Client or Paul, I perceived as clinical, devoid of sincere connection, and simply instructional; with the intention of what could have been discussed in a therapist/client setting as opposed to an actual interaction between two people. If this was done by design, for instructional purposes, then disregard my blathering-on about Larry, after all… I read this book because I am struggling with family of origin trauma and not as a therapist. Joe
Randy K. (verified owner) –
A little too much on the scientific side for my tastes.
Bradley R. Maybury (verified owner) –
I got this book a week ago and have now thoroughly gone through it twice, highlighting and taking notes, as well as doing the exercises. Having practiced somatic meditation and mindfulness for a year and a half and experiencing expansion and greater aliveness through these practices, I knew that these tools were very helpful to me. What I didn’t know and what this book made very clear was why these practices were so helpful. This book is a map of the terrain of my psyche and the directions on how to traverse that terrain and go from a place of emotional numbness and subdued aliveness to greater emotional intelligence, feelings of connection to self and others, and an increasing sense of aliveness. Granted not all of this has happened in the week since a got the book, but over the year and a half of practicing daily. That said the book has made the cause and now the course very clear and I’ve experienced big leaps forward in the areas mentioned, and of course all life areas as these are directly impacted. The book also added many insights, practices, and the motivation that goes along with these. It’s very well written, easy to understand, and most importantly to apply. This really works! If you or someone you’re close to, or clients you work with suffer from developmental trauma, and you want understanding and effectiveness in healing, get this book now! Many thanks to Laurence Heller and Aline LaPierre
dustbunny (verified owner) –
The is by far the best book I have read on this subject, and it has been hugely helpful both for myself and for my work with coaching clients.
Heller and LaPierre unpack each ‘survival style,’ and then drill down into one in particular. The examples from their own sessions are extremely useful to show the impact of this therapeutic approach.
It’s not a fluffy self-help how-to book, as it is written for therapists. But anyone can use this to enhance their understanding of the impact of childhood neglect, emotional or physical abuse, and trauma.
If this topic interests you for any reason, I cannot overstate how much I recommend this book!
Marcia L. Howland (verified owner) –
Having done my Ph.D. thesis on attachment theory (Bowlby – present) often it is the emotion that is currently devilitating someone–very early trauma with young children does not offer the verbal and cognitive aspect of remembering. So, it is important to help every facet of a person to utilize all strengths, including spirituality. Helpful to parents to guard themselves from traumatizing their children, helpful for traumatized to see where it is perhaps sourced, helps therapists to stimulate healthfulness.
Lizard (verified owner) –
Not what I thought it was.
Brenda L. Rivera (verified owner) –
The best book about trauma I have ever encounter. If you have read tons of books, have done lots of work on yourself, have tried different healing modalities and have seen a few different therapist and yet, years after still know that there is something that doesn’t quite fit because certain emotions just keep coming up, then this is your book!!!!!! This book is so packed with information I feel like I graduated from a psychology class. You will find yourself and understand so much more about yourself , your past , your trauma , the ” why ” this and that . I can not recommend enough. I first borrowed the audiobook and then I had to buy the actual physical one. It’s your life and you deserve to heal . Much love and blessings in your path to integration.
P (verified owner) –
Fantastic resource for clinicians to gain a deeper understanding of complex relational trauma and how to treat it. Only part that didn’t sit well with me was the chapter about using touch, as the majority of clinicians are not trained to utilize touch in treatment and I feel this subject should have been covered separately in another book. I kept worrying that an untrained practitioner might read this book and try to utilize it, which could be extremely triggering for a victim of trauma. Other than that, this is an exceptional book on this subject.
Thomas M. Britz (verified owner) –
This book is written for professional therapists. It is one long commercial for a certain type of treatment, called “NARM”, NeuroAffective Relational Model. It was a long and involved read and I needed to look up a few words. It didn’t really help me understand Complex PTSD anymore than I had.
L. Peters (verified owner) –
As a graduate student, this book has been fundamental in blowing the doors off of my own developmental trauma and understanding it in others. Taken in context with other therapies, theories, and how trauma has historically been approached, this book takes on even greater meaning.
I can understand some reviewers’ frustrations however, because while it’s a concise overview, it won’t answer all of your questions. (i.e. Can you have more than one survival style? Yes!) As a student, I have the luxury of dissecting the readings in class. It’s very helpful.
If you are a graduate student working towards licensing in therapy, social work, etc., or if you have a firm grasp of basic psychology and healing, you will find this a fairly easy and fascinating read. I wouldn’t call it a “self-help” book, but it is certainly enlightening.
As to the claims that it’s not scientific, perhaps that is because there’s not a citation in the book. While this is usually an issue for me, in this case, these theories are their own, based on their own work, and built upon accepted and known psychological foundations. If you need citations for basics like attachment theory, brain functions and the like, perhaps this is not the book for you.
Other books I would recommend to help complete the picture would be Frank and La Barre’s The First Year and the Rest of Your Life and Young, Klosko, and Weishaar’s Schema Therapy.
TheHappyGentleman (verified owner) –
This is one of the clearest and most comprehensive books on the issue of trauma and its impacts that I have come across. I have read dozens and rate this above them all.
The book remains focused on the issue of trauma and its concrete impacts. Rather than getting dogmatic or attempting to discredit, the authors take an integrative and wholistic approach that rewards the reader with a very sensible, full picture of trauma and how it works on both the biology and the spirit/mind/emotions/psyche. While intended for therapists most likely, it is of obvious interest to anyone suffering from early trauma who wishes to have control over their treatment and recovery.
inlori Customer (verified owner) –
A very worthwhile book that has something valuable to offer the field of developmental trauma. The many tables in the beginning of the book were a helpful summary. The last sections with dialogue of actual therapeutic interventions helped it come to life. It is however quite dense, and at times the language is a bit impenetrable with too much jargon. That made it a slower read. Nevertheless, it is well worth the effort.
James Farrelly (verified owner) –
This book was assigned reading for a class. I began reading because I had to and very quickly became immersed. It lays out clearly and concisely the problems that may arise from childhood trauma and the hangover effect that can result when an adult retains their childhood coping skills to survive the trauma. The resultant physical turmoil created by the retention of these coping skills is very real and incredibly fascinating. The examples used in the book are short, interesting and provide a memorable teaching point for the student. I cannot thank the authors enough for this valuable book.
inlori Customer (verified owner) –
Definitely directed at therapeutic professionals rather than their clients, it’s a difficult read for someone without a specialized psychology education. Contained some interesting concepts, though nothing that isn’t covered elsewhere in more accessible material.
Austin (verified owner) –
Seldom do I write reviews, but I’m only 16 pages in and I’m already blown away by how well this is written. The detail and analysis of what can disrupt one’s ability to regulate emotional stability and form attachments is outstanding. I myself suffer from some very bad attachment problems, as well as emotional trauma from childhood. I would highly recommend this to anyone suffering from attachment issues. I’m also a psychology major and would recommend this to anyone in the clinical field looking to gain some possible further insight into the development of human connection and attachment.
Isaac Hylton (verified owner) –
This is a very thorough treatise. It’s geared a bit more toward therapists, so it’s a bit light on techniques for clients without a therapist.
jw (verified owner) –
I ordered this as a self-help book. All I can say is it is really effective. I couldn’t finish it though, because it kept making me cry too much.
W. Custance (verified owner) –
Not through it, but can see good points already. I am trying to honestly see myself in their
Descriptions. And I do. I sadly know what kind of punishment I received as a very young
Toddler. I have heard about over and over from a parent, even till into my ’60’s. As if it was funny. Each time, I would freeze. Now I see why.
inlori Customer (verified owner) –
One of the best books I’ve read to help me move forward on my life path! It’s a harder read then ‘Waking the Tiger’ by Peter Levine but a good follow up, and takes a step further by explaining in detail the differences between shock and developmental traumas, and the different ways we adapt to survive. It’s written for therapists so definitely a more difficult read for the average person, but worth the effort. After reading this book I found myself letting go of blaming myself for my own personality ‘flaws’ (called adaptive styles) and of the feeling of not being enough. I have become more knowledgeable and accepting of the therapy process. I also found this book exceptionally helpful as a parent. I find I am now accepting the role I unwittingly played in my children’s development, without blame. And I hope to better understand and relate to them as adults. Heller & LaPierre provide a few suggestions at the end of the book to therapists on how to best work with their clients. These could be beneficial to the layman looking for a therapist. There is no self-help or how-to advice, other then through better understanding and to have patience with the therapy process.
Kathleen (verified owner) –
One of the most important topics of our world, that can explain most of the violence, narcissism, addiction and bullying, in my mind… it is a clinical work that translates for a nonclinical reader interested in how almost all of us are injured from childhood and how we can integrate and resolve these injuries so we don’t continue to injure others in our adult life. It acknowledges that our bodies, not just our minds are part of the process of healing and processing. It focuses on attachment issues with children and their parents, and the different stages of childhood that trauma affects, and how a clinician can work with a client, and how a client has been affected by the trauma in that childhood stage.
Sae (verified owner) –
The beginning of this book was informative. It discussed connection, attunement, trust etc styles/categories that attachment trauma falls into. I had to skip around mid way through and the end. very boring not as practical. Even as a therapist I found it a little confusing. It discussed the use of touch which is ‘touchy’ in the field of therapy. I would have liked some alternative methods to use outside of the therapist directly touching a client. But overall informative just not as practical.
Lisa H (verified owner) –
It is more of a text book for professionals and not someone in recovery.
Anne (verified owner) –
This is the definitive work on how to heal childhood trauma and attachment wounds using the accuracy that neuroscience affords us. It is easily readable by both patients and practitioners. It is a must read for psychotherapists, medical doctors, naturopaths and social workers. Anyone trying to understand and repair their own childhood wounds will benefit from reading this book. I especially love the non-pathologizing focus on the resilience and strength survivors of family trauma bring to their lives.
Kathleen (verified owner) –
This book is cutting edge material regarding post traumatic stress disorder. PTSD is a condition that has been belatedly recognized as a medical condition. Therefore funding for research is available and much attention is beiby given. This gave me some much hope for my own daughter who is a victim of incest by her father. It was stopped before she was 4 years old but our case never left family court after a 6-year battle. This was 25 years ago. She is doing well in life, but she suffers. I wish this book had been available to her therapist back then! One more way Audible has literally saved my life!
Shenx (verified owner) –
Essential reading for how early life experiences cause nervous system dysregulation in adults. Very clear, organized. Much more linear and systematic than other Somatic Experiencing books I’ve read. Heller also does a great job at bringing in the context of other schools of thought: attachment theory, interpersonal neuroscience, Buddhist psychology/mindfulness, etc.
R. Ricsin (verified owner) –
Interesting concepts and ideas but it got a little too drawn out about specific stories. That’s just my taste of books though.
inlori Customer (verified owner) –
As a survivor of developmental trauma related to adoption, I have embraced psychotherapy for healing since adolescence. I’ve been blessed for many years by a psychotherapist who is competent, compassionate and masterful in attunement and attachment. What I didn’t know, and this book clarifies, is the sequence of strategies that heal trauma survivors later in life. As I read, I realized my therapist has consistently applied the same principles, strategies and techniques in our genuine, authentic therapeutic relationship. I found myself noting, “yes, we’ve worked on that!” and “so that’s how I learned how to self-soothe!” While the reality of suffering trauma in childhood and adolescence is never vanquished, this text provides a virtual checklist of what needs healing and how to do it without re-traumatizing the client. Thanks!
Jwaddell (verified owner) –
There’s really no better way to describe this book than to say that reading it was like cleaning out a deep wound from my soul. It hurt, a lot, but the understanding to self that I gained was transformational and nothing short of a miracle! This book helped me heal to the point that social interaction became more and more comfortable as I brought my new awareness to myself in relation to others.
CJ (verified owner) –
Th his is an amazing book that will help you understand and begin healing from developmental truama. I can honestly say reading this book has been life changing .it has helped me to understand exactly what I didn’t get as a child and how that effected my adulthood. It s truly life changing.
Jamie (verified owner) –
Easy to follow book with charts and graphs
Jessica Van der Merwe (verified owner) –
Healing Developmental Trauma is an excellent resource when conceptualizing how developmental (complex PTSD) impacts an individual through examining and integrating empirical research in support of the Neuroaffective Relational model for healing. The authors outline core needs and differing survival styles according to etiology of abuse and/or trauma, and offer practical interventions for healing. Easy to read, practical, and accessible.
In Houston (verified owner) –
Good book
Ray Thomsom (verified owner) –
This book simply and very clearly explains every thing you want to know about trauma and how it impacts your life.
Its the very best I’ve seen and I strongly recommend it if you want to learn about this field. If you want to reverse trauma and recapture your life then also buy “Healing Trauma” by Peter Lavine
Chanda (verified owner) –
This is a book that is very informative and easy to read and understand. The information presented is valuable to any and all therapist.
Josephine March (verified owner) –
Until my therapist recommended this book, I had no knowledge of developmental trauma. Prior to reading this book, I thought all traumas were shock-based. The authors carefully and thoroughly explain the differences between these two types of traumas.
I will be reading it again as there is such a dense concentration of helpful and healing tools/ resources presented over the course of these pages. At times, it was not easy to read, but the authors conveyed their message of hope and healing in a gentle, non-judgmental, helpful manner. I learned a lot from this book. Worth every penny.
Queen (verified owner) –
This was excellent. I did not think I would benefit from reading it as much as I did. Pleasantly surprised, insightful. Recommend.
Poeticpatricia (verified owner) –
I love this book. It is written both for clinicians and as a self help. I highly recommend it. The introduction is a bit challenging to get through but the rest of the book is a pretty fast read.
alexa hackett (verified owner) –
I use this in my practice weekly. It perfectly explains what developmental trauma is and how it affects people over the course of their lives. Anyone who works with clients who have experienced childhood trauma needs this book. Very accessible for the average person too.
Liz Linder (verified owner) –
This book gives great insight into the healing process to those struggling with CPTSD. As I worked through the chapters I gained an in-depth understanding of my confusing and painful childhood experience and enhanced my education around attachment injury and it s lifelong consequences.
Patricia a (verified owner) –
The author does a great job at simplifying such a complex topic. The book is of course not simple but not as dense as others in the field. Highly recommended.
Julie Mills (verified owner) –
I’m not being dramatic, just factual. I’m one of the developmentally traumatized adults who lives a lonely, lifeless life. I’ve been to MANY therapists who’ve taken great pride in themselves with their diagnosis that I’m co-dependent. One told me to get a cat for my loneliness. Another told me that adult coloring is a creative outlet. Another told me to Let Go and Let God! Which all left me alone again. On my own again. And reinforced that there is no one to help me. And then came NARM!!! This book is both fascinating and well-written for BOTH therapists and lay-people. Thank you with all my heart!
ABenn (verified owner) –
This book is geared more toward psyche majors rather than for someone looking for strategies to navigate their own healing from childhood trauma. It is extremely interesting, but if you have already been to therapy to work on your issues, you already know all the causes for why you are the way you are and this book just confirms those reasons. The are maybe 3 activities in the book that might be helpful, but nothing that you can really apply long term. I would suggest reading books on setting healthy boundaries instead.
inlori Customer (verified owner) –
This is for anyone serious about understanding trauma and the body, trauma and relationships, trauma and healing …
CJ Scarlet (verified owner) –
I’ve lost count of the self help books I’ve read, but this one tops them all. I saw myself in the pages and felt so seen and understood. I’m buying copies for others in my life who need this wisdom.
Nancy Cobb (verified owner) –
It was a very helpful book and had a lot of good information in it
G. Blakey (verified owner) –
I finally found a book that clearly addresses the right approach to work with people who have been negatively affected by Developmental Trauma, rather than shock trauma. It is written with a focus of helping therapists learn about this new approach, but in a way that those who have experienced this form of trauma can learn about how the adverse experiences in childhood lead to psychological problems in later life, and how there is an approach that can help them with their problems. There are a couple of examples of how a session with a NARM (NeuroAffective Relational Model) therapist works with a patient, so one can understand the significantly different approach this new therapeutic technique works. It is wonderful to read this, and feel so appreciative that someone has figured out how developmental traumas need to be addressed in a different way from the way violent or sexual traumas need to be treated.
inlori Customer (verified owner) –
This book was a difficult, but necessary read for those attempting to heal from multiple childhood traumas. I highly recommend.